It’s not like anyone actually needs a reason to avoid doing housework. But we’ve found a particularly good excuse: it turns out today, April 7, is No Housework Day. So ditch that broom and leave the washing up for tomorrow. Here’s a guide to planning your whole day around pure and utter laziness at home.
8 am: Ditch the dirty clothes basket.
Start the day with something simple. It might not seem like a big deal, but clothes strewn around your bedroom is actually a bold statement against household chores. It says, ‘I can’t be bothered with this easy task. Why would I stretch myself to cleaning the bathroom?’
10 am: Take a stand against cleanliness.
Don’t clean the mess, add to it. Wipe the bread crumbs and dirt from the kitchen counter onto the floor. Empty the contents of your wardrobe all over your bedroom. Feeling brave? Dump the contents of your kitchen bin throughout the lounge room. And don’t forget to throw out your mop, bucket and all those unnecessary disinfectants. This removes all temptation to clean up later.
12 pm: Encourage others to follow your lead.
How many people know about this amazing day? It’s up to you to spread the word. Instead of cleaning, spend the day creating an International No Housework Day event on Facebook. Or, if you’re really passionate about this cause, start lobbying the local government to make April 7 a public holiday. Clearly, this is a much more worthy cause than, say, fixing potholes in your street.
4 pm: Don’t even think about doing the laundry.
Find your inner couch potato instead. That pile of dirty clothes from this morning is not going anywhere. Plus there are genuine environmental reasons for doing the laundry less often. Who said this anti-housework crusade was selfish?
6 pm: Congratulate yourself on a job well done.
By now you’re living in filth: the laundry basket is overflowing, the dirty dishes have piled up and your lounge room looks like a rubbish tip. Your resolve against housework is probably weakening. Just remember: you can get back to your uptight, cleanly ways tomorrow. And besides, you might get an extra public holiday out of this.